from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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