He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize