So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
