First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
