i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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