I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
do herpes really smell.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
