when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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