yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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