Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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