Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
