the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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