Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Dicks are not precious.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
