Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Randomize
