At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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