Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
