Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
