2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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