that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
