I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize