i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
