I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
