I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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