also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Shame - the story of my life.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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