Already got asked if we're dating
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
