just come out here and I will go home with you...
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
