Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
