All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I want to be your penis for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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