I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
