That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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