That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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