Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
