you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
