Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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