does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
