Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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