I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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