plz talk dirty to me
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
