And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize