this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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