Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Randomize
