he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
