that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
