I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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