you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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