she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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