We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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