he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
