it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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