I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize