She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
