I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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