then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
