I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
