i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
