Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
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