I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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