I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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