We're like a lot better than the average bears
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
